Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Going Out on the Road: UK

One of the most fun things to do on road trips is go out at night. As long as we get all of our stuff done and it is a weekend, the managers are likely to go out on the road. It is great because we can make up our own identities and nobody will have a clue if we are telling the truth or not. We can pretend to be walk-ons, regular students, or admit to being managers but whatever we do, girls on the road are impressed because we go to Vanderbilt.

At Vandy, girls here aren't impressed that we go to Vandy because they go here too, but at other SEC schools when you say you go to Vandy you might as well say you are Albert Einstein. They automatically assume you are an absolute genius and in my case that happens to be true, but it isn't for everyone else at this school. So the combination of making up identities of who we are and being worshiped for our brains makes the road a good time, so over the next few days I'll share some of my favorite stories from going out on the road.

I will start with Kentucky last year. We played Kentucky on a Saturday afternoon last season and got to Lexington on Friday night. That night I went out with Rafi Goldman a fellow manager to an off-campus UK frat party. One of our mutual friends is in a frat at UK and invited us there. When we got there I must say I had never been to a house that reeked of weed more than that house. It was like a smog of marijuana hovering over the house, it was a total stench and smelled gross.

I was at the party with Rafi for a few hours and at around 2:30 AM was pretty tired and wanted to go back to our hotel which was like 15 minutes away, but I couldn't find Rafi, he was off somewhere so I just said "screw it, I'm going back". I called the Lexington cab company and they said it would be a 45 minute wait for a cab, which was not acceptable because I hate to wait. So I improvised.

I walked out of the house onto the street and found a pledge sitting in a car and offered to pay him to take me back to the hotel. I told him I worked with the team and went to Vandy and where we were staying and he said he would drop me off after doing some stuff for his frat brothers, but at least I would be in a moving vehicle. So I got in the backseat of the car with 2 girls, a tall blonde and a shorter brunette. I was on one end, the blonde in the middle, the brunette on the right and a frat brother up front with the pledge.

When I got into the backseat the blonde asked me if I went to Vanderbilt because I had on a Vandy pullover. I said yes, and she goes "Oh my god, you must be so smart. I wanted to go to Vandy but I'm just not smart, but I need a smart man. People at UK just aren't very smart. You must be smart, I like smart guys" then proceeded to put her head in my lap. Needless to say I was intrigued, and as we approached her dorm I considered hopping out of the car with her and her friend. However, my phone had died and I had no idea where I was and doubted I would be able to make it back in time for breakfast in the morning, so I reluctantly stayed in the car.

After dropping the two girls off at their dorm, we had to drop the frat brother off at his house. He lived like 10 minutes away so we went there and dropped him off, the dude was kind of a prick. I was glad when we got rid of him but then after we dropped him off he called the pledge and ordered him to pick up his girlfriend from the frat house and take them to his house. So we went back to the frat house to get the girlfriend then dropped her off at the brother's house.

At that point I had been in the car for 30 minutes but at least I was entertained, and then the next stop was even more entertaining. The pledge got a call to pick up brothers from the Lexington Deja Vu (the strip club), and at this point it was 3:30 AM. So we go to the Deja Vu parking lot at that time and golly what a crowd. There were a few guys on Harley Davidsons tatted all the way up, real stereotypical biker dudes. A few drunken frat guys, and then also some professional looking guys who probably had wives and were claiming to be "away on business". A real interesting mix.

So the three frat brothers get into the car and ask who I am and the pledge tells them I work for the Vandy team and he's dropping me at the hotel. Immediately after the introduction is made, two of the guys say, "Vandy f*cking sucks. Really y'all suck. Except Jordan Smart, J-Smeaze is cool". Jordan was a former walk-on from Lexington and these were two of his high school teammates. They made a very classy first impression. So after sharing stories about Jordan, at 4:07 I finally arrived back at the hotel and promptly proceeded to pass out.

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